Vulnerability Requires Bravery: The Life of Malak Holt
By Bailey Latronica
“I’m very vulnerable,” revealed Malak Holt in the palace-esque lobby of the Biltmore Hotel in Los Angeles. A fleet of quiet tears traveled from his eyes while stagehands laid cardboard nearby, preparing the lobby for filming later. All the while Malak kept quietly crying. And the thing is– even though he was in a public space, he wasn’t crying in a way that inhibited anyone else. He was crying to himself. He was bravely baring and feeling his emotions. This kind of unfiltered vulnerability– this ability to not hold yourself back even in public spaces– is what makes up-and-coming actor/model Malak Holt glow from the core.
Malak is brave enough to be vulnerable no matter the circumstances.
“I let everything show.” continued Malak. “My liberation in facing everything I went through is honoring my emotions. I always speak up.”
“My mom told me ‘I want you to follow your heart and do what you love. Do whatever you’re naturally good at.’ Whatever you’re naturally good at and enjoy doing is what you’re meant to do here. If you don’t love it, don’t do it. What you love is literally what you’re meant to do.”
Malak’s eyes gradually turned pink, and then red, as he took a moment to tap into something deeper. “[My mom] was a really, really good mom. Meant to be a parent. The majority of the good head I have on my shoulders– I owe most of that to her. She passed away due to health complications when she was 50.”
Malak grew up with a deep fear of losing his mom due to her poor health. He lived in constant fear that one day she’d suddenly be gone, but he never voiced his concerns. Malak kept his emotions trapped inside. Never saying what he felt. Never being his true self.
Malak’s childhood fear became his reality after his mom eventually did pass away. And in the years to follow his life grew progressively worse because almost everyone in his family passed away.
“Between 2009 – 2016 close to 30 people in my family passed… My parents, my grandparents… Everyone’s gone. There’s a certain level of uncertainty and fear in being alone.”
By 2016 Malak was one of the last living people from his family. Not a single family member he was close to was left; there was no one to check in on him or remind him that he was loved. Naturally he found a way to soothe the unendurable loneliness.
“Around the time [my mom passed] I got hooked on drugs temporarily. I was addicted very heavily to that stuff.”
You’d never be able to tell Malak used to depend on drugs by looking at him. He’s dashingly handsome, fit, and his energy is supercharged (people who live as their authentic selves just have a sort of magnetism to them). He’s an overall healthy person, which makes it difficult to envision him as anything else.
A wave of something, maybe a memory, flashed across Malak’s face. The energy shifted and it was clear he was about to share something even deeper yet.
“Eventually I just got tired of feeling the way I felt and I have a lot of willpower. I was like ‘what the f*** am I doing with my life?’ I looked in the bathroom mirror and I was honest [with myself]. I was like ‘dude, you’re a drug addict.’ So I quit it and never looked back again. I went completely cold turkey off the drugs.”
Even though drug use is embedded into the film and modeling industries, Malak chooses to stay sober.
“I go out partying with people now and they do it all the time around me and I’m completely fine. I don’t need it. When someone wants to change they’ll change, and I changed.”
And Malak continued to change for the better. Finally sober and grounded, he found the courage to follow his mom’s advice and pursue his love of modeling/acting. He now puts himself in front of the right people and opportunities and life rewards him for it.
“I started getting myself out there [after quitting].” shared Malak excitedly. “In my experience [my mom’s advice has] been right. The moment I stopped forcing myself to do jobs I didn’t like and chose to pursue my career- I’m getting published. I’m running into opportunities. I’m meeting big producers. They’re doing filming in every area I stay at– even here! It’s so many things that keep happening!”
“And now I’m getting bigger gradually. More international opportunities are popping up. Like I got scouted during fashion week. They flew me out to Canada for an assessment and then they wanted me to walk a runway. Modeling is very similar to acting, except with modeling you want to have a fixed focal point. When I’m on a runway or in front of a camera, well I’m already alive and energetic off of it! But when I’m on it, it’s like 10x. I grab attention in rooms because I’m grounded. Because of everything I’ve been through I’m so grounded. And people see that.”
But Malak’s true secret to success isn’t being passionate or grounded. It’s letting himself wholeheartedly feel his emotions.
“Feelings and emotions are the secret to creating anything.” he said confidently, but with such vigor a stagehand turned and glanced at us. “I honor my emotions all the time. It’s very easy, very natural to channel my emotions. To tap into my emotions. I do not hold anything back. The main thing is I’m always speaking my truth. Always. I’m bluntly honest in every situation with all my emotions.”
Everyone endures hardships (that’s part of being human), though it’s the way you navigate those hardships that define who you are. You are not your hardships; you are the choices you make.
Malak Holt chooses to pursue his dreams even though he’s the only living person from his family. He chooses sobriety despite regularly being around drug use. And he chooses himself by always honoring his emotions.
Malak can be found on Instagram (@Malak_Holt), on the runway, or bravely being vulnerable.
Head to the links for full articles and exclusive images:
https://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/2408747?__r=928185
https://pasalapagina.com/publicacion/fashion-lux-for-gents/573.html
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CREDITS:
MALAK HOLT @malak_holt
Fashion Director: ANTONIO CONTRERAS @antonioeldeseo
HMUA: PEARL CABALAN @makeupbypurrrl
Writer: BAILEY LATRONICA @baayfree
Copy Editor: KIEDO VILLANUEVA @kei_villanueva
Art Director: NIGEL JOHN DEL MUNDO @nigeldelmundo
Photographer: VINCENT GOTTI @vinniegotti
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Published by @plpg.globalmedia PLPG GLOBAL MEDIA, LLC. and its division for Colombia & Latin America PUBLICOMLATINA PUBLISHING GROUP S.A.S | © 2023 / Editor in Chief Edward R Rueda @ceo.plpg
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