As we grow older, beauty becomes an expensive commodity for most women, unlike the bygone days of our youth where our hormones provide us a steady supply of free beauty. As we age, suddenly beauty takes on a different meaning. Suddenly, it has to do with who the person really is. As one gazes at Ms. Elizabeth Fernandez, a very attractive woman at sixty years old, one wonders what she sees as she looks at the mirror. Who is this person staring back at her from the mirror? Does she see both her youth and her current self? Are they both one and the same person despite a lifetime of changes? It is indeed a very perplexing state to be in and may be one of life’s constant riddles.
From your youthful self in the past to your mature self today, one goes through an inevitable process we call age-ing. It is unique for every individual and is fraught with very personal experiences that affect the person in any number of ways. Some go through age-ing kicking and screaming all the way, others resign themselves to it, and yet others go through it with such grace and elegance. And then there are those who set out to teach us the art of growing older in a more candid and honest way.
Our subject of interest, Ms Elizabeth Fernandez candidly shares with us her own personal perspectives and viewpoints as she continues through her own journey. Taking on this slightly daunting yet exciting task of appearing as cover girl, being featured in a multi-page photo lay-out in a fashionable lifestyle magazine is not an endeavor for the fainthearted. Ms Fernandez, after all, is not a professional model. Not in her wildest dreams could she even begin to imagine working as one, not even in her youth. Oblivious to the changing vagaries of the fashionable world, her loved ones’ welfare occupy the highest tier in her priority list. Living a fashionable lifestyle would not be of much use or interest to her. Thus, it will certainly take some courage and gumption to stand in front of a camera and strike a pose as a woman of mature years. But she is out to prove something. As a sixty year old woman, she has a strong message to share. She believes that her experiences are something that most women can relate to, one of which was her prime motivation to doing this shoot. It’s all about hitting the big sixty. For someone who grew up quite a tomboy, quite oblivious to all the girlie stuff that absorb almost every young girl’s growing up years, she considers herself quite a late bloomer in the world of fashion and beauty. And as far as she’s concerned, now is just about the right time as any, to explore a world that she has somehow managed to bypass in her youth.
The main turning point is weight loss. Ms. Fernandez has always considered herself a heavy woman. As commonplace as this situation is, it would be naïve to underestimate the power of that number on that weight scale, and its effect on the psyche. Almost every person on this planet remains unsatisfied or unhappy with their current weight. Weight loss was definitely a major undertaking for her. With that goal in mind, she met the challenge head on. Seeking the help of professionals and the aid of weight slimming products, one must say that she has achieved quite amazing results. She highly recommends one product in particular, oddly enough, a coffee producing company called Valentus – www.rapidresults.valentus.com. It prides itself as a health product with weight loss and weight management among its primary results. Additionally, Ms. Fernandez enjoys the good fortune of personally knowing a plastic surgeon, who remains one of her very best friends to this day. This surgeon specializes in a certain type of cosmetic surgery that will help you attain a beautiful set of abs or what is commonly known as “six pack”. She also does not hesitate to inform us of her use of Botox. However, her use of this dermatological process began with reasons quite unrelated to facial appearance but to actually help alleviate a jaw problem, commonly known in the dental world as TMJ syndrome, Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction. TMJ is a condition that is known to cause pain in one’s jaw joint and in the muscles that control jaw movement. Botox is a well known alternative treatment for this condition. When injected into facial muscles afflicted with soreness and discomfort, a patient will experience relief from TMJ and jaw tension. From there, it was but a natural progression to use Botox for dermatological and esthetic reasons. She has explored and availed of all these, plus several other procedures, in her intentions to upstage her body’s age-ing process.
Women develop a depth and complexity in character that can only be achieved through time and experience. Indeed, there is much more than meets the eye, in a manner of speaking, to Ms Elizabeth Fernandez. Perhaps, for this writer, the most interesting and impressive dimension to Ms Fernandez will always be her unwavering commitment to the care of her age-ing mother and aunt. She devoted a very large part of her life to this vocation. It is not every day that one has the privilege of meeting someone whose life’s purpose is almost a hundred percent dedicated to the health and well being of a parent and an aunt. She has even gone to the extent of pursuing and finishing a nursing degree to help her understand in medical terms all the health issues common to older folks. Because she witnesses first hand and up-close the ravages of growing older, she doubtless knows what to expect for herself in the years to come. With this knowledge in hand, she chooses to take care of herself in a more proactive way, practicing a healthy lifestyle and hopefully preventing certain future conditions brought about by the body’s deterioration due to age, neglect as well as abuse.
Ms Fernandez is also a mother to two wonderful daughters. Her daughters are some of the most influential voices in her current transformation. Clever as they are, it was not difficult for them at all to kick start their mother’s transformative activity. They simply mirrored back what their mother always taught to them and that is, fulfilling the challenge of high expectations. With great enthusiasm, they encourage their mother to re-invent herself, to carve out a unique sixty year old woman, far from the tired old pattern that unfortunately far too many women succumb to. Her eyes light up and twinkle when talking about her two daughters, sharing anecdotes that only a mother can. It is obvious that they are her pride and joy. Having grown into young, interesting adults, she enjoys their company immensely, very much like having the sisters that she never had. Over all, Ms Fernandez has this marvelous ability to divide her time between her children and her mother quite effectively and neither one has cause for complaint.
A life spent caring for and minding the needs of others, one can easily get caught up in a web of duties, errands, chores, needs, and such other good stuff. There isn’t much time to focus on oneself, much less worry about one’s appearance. Keeping up with fashion trends will definitely not be a cause for concern. As such, the impact of transformation at this stage in her life will be no small matter. But today, she has decided to give herself a closer look, as uncomfortable as that may potentially be. Ms. Fernandez has finally given herself permission to ask the difficult questions. As she gazes at herself at that mirror, professionally made up, hair done up, wearing a sophisticated gown, anticipating the next several minutes as she waits for the photographer’s promptings, it is easy to imagine the questions she will be asking herself; who am I, what makes me happy, what makes me sad….? Am I still essentially the same person? Or am I simply an older version of myself? What does growing older even mean? How do I fill the gap between who I still am inside, and the person that’s gazing back at me in that mirror?
At some point in our lives, we will all be asking these questions. At some point, we will be confronting growing older. Each one will be answering those questions in their own unique way, and each one will be experiencing the anguish of growing older. This writer suspects that it may not even be a question of losing one’s beauty…some of us don’t really feel we had enough of that to begin with. What will worry most of us will be the inability to recognize that person in that mirror.
Photographer: VINCENT GOTTI (www.vincentgottiphotography.com)